I wrote this post sometime last year and for some reason, it just sat in my drafts rotting away until I felt it was no longer relevant to even publish. You’d be surprised how many such unreleased pieces I have in the drafts section… but don’t worry. I’m slowly working my way back into writing and expressing more (especially since I pay good money on this platform to let it all go to waste haha). Anyway, with Oprah’s recent scandalously excellent interview of the couple, I thought “What better time than now?” So here you go!
In January 2020 the Duke and Duchess of Sussex announced their desire to leave their duties within the Royal family and become more “financially independent”. The couple mentioned on their Instagram post that they would now be dividing their time between Canada and the UK as they pave the way for a new ‘progressive’ role within the monarchy.
I’m not sure about you, but I didn’t know there was even an option to ‘unsubscribe’ or opt out from working for the Royal family lol (whatever that means, because it’s also really unclear what work they actually do). In fact, I get the strong impression that whatever the Queen says, goes without question, so this essentially was a thoroughly bold and daring move on their part – one which I loudly applaud.
It’s no secret that Meghan has had an extremely rough couple of years in the media ever since her relationship with Prince Harry became public knowledge. The media was and still is, ready to tear her apart for ANY and everything, and you and I both know it’s especially for her Blackness. In fact, we all could have predicted that this negative attention was only going to worsen in light of their decision, and I was not at all surprised to see all the loud accusations flying around about how she ‘coerced’ Harry into the decision or whatever nonsensical garb the reporters cooked up. However, while several people are enraged by this “selfish” decision which the couple has made, I think there are a few big lessons to be learnt from the couple’s courageousness.
You Need to Occasionally Disappoint Your Parents
Ask any Zimbabwean about the fear they have of being their true selves around their parents. It sounds insane, but so many of us live these double lives, regardless of how old we get, where we feel the need to maintain the “goody two-shoes” image our parents have had of us from when we were 10 years old. Some of my adult friends will drink socially whenever we are out but would never be caught dead holding a drink around their parents, for fear of what they might think or say.
This kind of lifestyle is imprisoning. You feel suffocated trying to play two characters and having to modify your behaviour every time you leave the house and come back home. Meghan likely felt that she couldn’t be her true self within the confines of the Royal family without being judged for her every move.
My guess is that it wasn’t worth the consequences on her mental health to remain in the stifling spotlight of that environment, which is why it was necessary for her and her husband to leave. In the interview, she said they actually had no choice BUT to leave. As disappointing as it is for the Queen, she will need to understand that her grandson is starting his own family, with its own new traditions; and his decision is something she will need to respect regardless of her ideas and vision for his life.
Sometimes, the expectations your parents – in this case, grandmother – have for you are a thing you need to (respectfully) free yourself from as you begin setting the tone for your own life. Adulting comes with the understanding that there are certain things that are routine in your life only because of the standards which your society, church, and guardians set for you. Not because you think they are right or because you firmly believe in them on your own. It’s so important then to be able to discern which of your actions and thoughts are your own, and which ones will need to be unlearned as you come into yourself. The more you feed into the image your parents had of you as an obedient toddler, the greater will be their expectations of you to remain that way, and you will never truly be free to be yourself.
Defending Your Spouse is Important
From the day they tied the knot, Harry has proven himself to be a true prince by consistently standing in the gap for his wife. Whether it be in defending her in public by holding racist media reporters accountable, or in private where the world could not see, he has made it clear that YOU CANNOT TALK TO MEGAN ANYHOW, okay??
This is key for any relationship. There’s nothing worse than bae allowing members of his/her family to walk all over you without feeling the need to check them and set some boundaries. If you have an opinionated family who poke fun at your partner or make inappropriate remarks about them, it will be necessary for you to find your voice and speak up for your person if you want to have a fruitful relationship.
Relationships are a partnership between two people, and the more chefs you allow to stir the pot, the higher the chances of the food being spoiled. If Prince Harry could stand his ground so firmly (which probably involved confronting the QUEEN OF ENGLAND), what’s your excuse?
Glass Ceilings > Glass Slippers
If there’s one thing I absolutely respect and admire about Meghan Markle, it’s her ability to stand up for herself and live in the authenticity of her truth, despite the dramatic change to her lifestyle since being married to Harry. Much like Harry’s own mother, who walked a thin line when it came to honoring her role and refusing to follow the more traditional standards of the Royal family, Meghan clearly prefers to bring her own flavour to the relationship and maintains her own identity even in little ways.
A Black, educated, feminist divorcee born to a Black mother whose social work focuses on mental health and community, Meghan stands out as a feat the world probably never even dreamed would enter the Royal kingdom. While a lot of spectators hypothesise that Meghan did a great job for herself by marrying upwards into a royal family, I feel it’s in fact Harry who should be thankful to the gods for the good wife whom he hath found.
Meghan symbolises to him a completely new life free from the bondage and subjugation of the Royal family and its fervid ties. While he remains a significant part of their bloodline, Harry has effectively married upwards himself by virtue of the calibre of his strong-willed, unpretentious wife, who has given him the confidence to a one-way ticket out of the confinement of the kingdom walls.
I don’t know about you, but I’m truly thrilled to see what the couple has in store for us next as they shift the tables around and enter this new territory. I am all about people breaking out of their shells and living their most fruitful lives, as the best versions of themselves possible, and trust me when I say this is one couple I would keep my eyes on! In the words of Markle, “It’s time to focus less on glass slippers and more on glass ceilings.” You go girl!
As always, thanks for reading loves; any comments and feedback are always welcome! Make sure to subscribe to my blog to stay up to date with my posts, and remember that you can also stay in touch with me by watching my latest YouTube video here. Have a great week 🙂