So there were a lot of whispers and curious eyes watching as Cardi B recently posted a video on her Instagram page stating that her and Offset were separating. “Things just haven’t been working out for a long time, and we just fell out of love”, she claimed very calmly in her brief but shocking video. It was particularly unexpected because the couple had just performed on stage together a few weeks ago and were all over each other, appearing to be completely in love.
With rumours and screenshots circulating of Offset cheating/attempting to cheat on Cardi during her pregnancy, one might have been able to see this coming; but even then, her overly-calm nature threw me and I’m sure a lot of you, off. Could it be that the two of them jumped into things too quickly without really thinking about the huge commitment that marriage is? Did they really ‘fall out of love’ as Cardi claimed or did she simply say that to mask her pain and to maintain the mature outlook she’s been upholding throughout the media outbursts?
Furthermore, could this be a troll (similar to Jay and Bey’s, in a sense) in that Offset’s first solo album is set to drop in a few days, and this will give him the clout that he needs to get people to buy it and listen to it for sure? Either way, it’s sad to see the short union (just over a year) between them potentially go down the drain, especially since there is a child involved at this stage. There are, however, always a few lessons that can easily be learnt from situations like these!
You Can’t Teach An Old Dog New Tricks
An important takeaway from this is to weigh the options of your choices. I saw a lot of memes ridiculing Cardi for expecting loyalty from a dude that blatantly sang the lyrics, “B**ch I’m a dog, roof” in one of his songs… and I couldn’t have thought of a better joke! The truth is, (and this is not to excuse his actions in ANY way) Offset is a pretty young and immature man who is rolling very deep in the music industry, and lives a lifestyle which invites volumes of groupies, money, fame, and a whole lot of distracting baggage that only an aged soul could handle with maturity.
Having a baby with a man living such a lifestyle was tres risky to begin with, and I’m not sure this is the outcome that Cardi was hoping for. I just don’t think Offset was ready to manage the responsibility that came with being a husband and a father just yet. Maybe one day he will, and perhaps Cardi had hoped strongly that she could tame his ferocious mane, but rarely does this happen without the man wanting to change first, for himself.
Doing the Right Thing Isn’t Always The Right Thing
In Zimbabwean culture, when a man impregnates a woman, it is expected that the woman be sent to the man’s home to live with and be taken care of by him. The two are then supposed to get married, without regard to whether or not they were actually in love when the pregnancy was conceived, or if it was just a mistake. The father of the child must take responsibility. A friend of mine told me that in certain tribes within Kenya, the culture is similar and marriage is imposed even on two single people who are caught engaging in sexual activity, whether or not the woman falls pregnant.
Perhaps Offset, in this case, was trying to do the right thing by Cardi B and their unborn baby at the time, by preserving her dignity and asking her to be his wife. Perhaps he felt as though marrying her would give them a chance to be a happy family, and he genuinely just wanted to give it a go. But marriage and family are not something you ‘shoot your shot’ at, and I think, despite his apparent efforts to make things right, Offset might have shown us here that forcing marriage on people who are not truly in love or dedicated to one another is not necessarily the best solution to things.
I agree 100% that both parties should share responsibility for the child they create together, but marriage is a serious lifetime relationship that requires lots of hard work, and that is something that needs to be considered before two people end up in shaky and embarrassing arrangements that have more of a negative and unstable effect on their child than a civil agreement between the two on how to share parenting duties.
Double Standards in Relationships DO Exist !!
It was amazing to see all of the support that Offset received after posting a video on Instagram on his birthday asking Cardi B to take him back. He claimed that he was sorry for embarrassing Cardi and for breaking God’s promise, and emphasized that he really wants to spend Christmas with Kulture, his daughter, and basically the rest of his life with them. In the same breath, he also said that he didn’t sleep with the other girl but he did entertain it, which he now regrets. In less than two seconds, hundreds of people were commenting on the video showing tremendous support and praising Offset’s strength, relentlessly begging Cardi on his lousy behalf to take him back, with one or two fans even starting the hashtag, #PrayForOffset.
Dear friends, we live in a world where this truly does happen. Where, when a man cheats, it is the woman who is attacked for not immediately wiping away his tears and picking up her skirts to rush to take him back; but if a woman cheats – all hell and slander and the vilest of curses under the sun would thunder down from the social media gods who would still attack the woman, and unite instead behind the man in solidarity with his decision not to take her cheating behind back. Had the roles been reversed, and Cardi was making an apology video to Offset, we all know she might have hanged herself at this point from all of the negative backlash and hateful judgement she would have received both online and in person. Pathetic.
I personally refuse to buy into his nonsense apology and am very sickened by the toxicity of our culture as displayed by most of the senseless supporters of Offset’s behaviour. Cardi B is under no obligation to take that man back, and she should NOT be the one feeling ANY pressure right now to make any decisions that involve allowing him into her heart again. She has managed to handle herself and her situation very maturely and in a manner that commands respect, so all of those people guilt-tripping and pushing her to take Offset back should also learn to respect her decision and go and marry him themselves, if they wish.
These are some of the lessons I took away from Cardi and Offset’s breakup y’all. We are still unsure about how things are going to turn out in future, and whether or not she will take him back, but I will say that I respect Cardi B’s strength and wisdom in dealing with all of the media and with her man acting a fool online!! What are some of the things you learned from them? Do you think Cardi will take Offset back? Let me know in the comments!
I’ll see you again soon with another post.